Do you ever wonder why you say, think, or do the things you do? Do you ever feel like it's someone or something that is influencing you in someway to make you feel the way you do or say the things you do or act the way you act? These are some of the questions that have been floating around in my head lately and I still haven't found an answer. Sometimes I feel like it's just me who is making me feel this way or say those things or do those things, but other times it seems like I am being pushed or pulled a certain way to make me do or say those things.
I wonder, after I do those things, why in the world I did that. It's not always with the mistakes I've made, but with the good decisions I have made also. Sometimes I go and talk to people I have never met and feel like I just made that persons day, or sometimes I will think things about myself and get my self-esteem so low that I can't even function. It makes me wonder if it's simply human or am I being influenced by someone/something to make these decisions...? I guess there are some ways I could find that out, but in the meantime I will still have these questions.
I've also wondered whether or not I should serve a mission. A few months ago I was having a hard time because I felt like I wasn't being productive in my life. I felt like I needed to hurry and choose a career path, or hurry and find someone I could marry, or hurry and prepare for a mission, but I realized after many tears and frustration, and with the help of a very smart man (my dad) that I don't need to rush into anything. My dad told me that basically things happen when they happen. Just do the things that I feel like I need to be doing and everything will fall into place. As far as a mission goes, I am getting closer and closer to being 21 and it's kind of freaking me out. My dad says that if I need to go then I will go, that I will know whether or not its going to happen when the time is right. What a smart guy huh? So simple.
Anyway, I just would like to give a shout out to my family. This past week I have felt more appreciation for them than I have for a long time. I wanna let you guys know how much I truly love you. I feel so blessed to be able to spend eternity with you guys. Living here on earth with you is bliss, but imagining living in Heaven with you sounds so amazing.
Farrah and Rachel, thank you for your examples. I couldn't ask for better sisters seriously. I love how close we have become and I appreciate all your advice in all I do. Your guys' opinions mean so much to me, and everything you advise I really take to heart. Thanks for everything. Chad and Jake, you guys are the bomb.com. I love watching you father your children. It helps me find someone that I could potentially marry. I look in them for characteristics that you guys have. I love you. Alix and Kobie, what can I say about you huh? True blessings to the family. I get teary eyed thinking about the life you could have had if you hadn't been placed in our home. I'm sorry I tease you guys all the time and I'm not the nicest always but just know that I love you unconditionally. Now that you are maturing and getting older I like to hang out with you more and see what your lives are like. You're so much fun. Mom and Dad, words cannot express the love I have for you two. I can't think of better parents, honestly. I know that whenever I need to talk about something I can go to you guys and come out feeling so good about myself, so relieved, humbled, and loved. Thanks for all you do for the family and I. Jamie, Angie, Shawn and B, you all know I love you :) Also, to my best friend, you really are the best. I miss ya, love you, and it'll be nice to see you soon haha :)
I think I got everyone in there, sorry for the weird post. It's been a weird day so far haha. Tune in again soon!!
Borris
4 comments:
Becca Becca Becca. What a nice post. I love you too. One thing I want to tell you is not to worry about "getting married, Going on a mission" and so forth. You are only twenty years old!! these are your golden years! Sometimes I get the feeling that girlies in Utah county are a bunch of Robots. They do whatever everyone else is doing. YOu are for sure not a robot my friend. LIVE. You are enjoying your surroundings. Date as many guys as you want. Who cares!! Make a ton of friends, go to dances, pull pranks, stay up late, take roadtrips, and keep those that care and love you most close by. That is what life is really all about. Be hAPPY! You are living the dream girlie. Love you and HAVE FUN... as much as you can!!
lv. rach
Dear Becca, I couldn't have said it better than what Rachel said.
for heavens sake, don't feel so much pressure. You have a great life and now is the time to enjoy it and have fun. Cause it all ends after you're married. JK You talk to those who love you and that is great. I love you so much, MOM
Becca, I remember being at that little cross-road in life when I was your age. Those decisions are tough and WILL effect the rest of your life...but like Rachie said. Do what is best for YOU! You are in such a great place with friends and family who love you and care about you! Who cares if you don't go on a mission or get married at age 20. Believe me, I got married young and I think it would have been nice to figure out who I was before I dove deep into "life" at such a young age. You're the best! I love you and am so grateful for you! Love Jamie
Atleast I know how Jamie feels now.LOL.that means laugh out loud, NOT lots of love inside Joke! Becca remember when I dated, i think everyone remembers that. Telling you from experience in dating who I thought was my Eternal Comp. I am so glad it's not what I thought but what the lord thought. I'm so glad that I made the decision to date after I thought the world has come to an end. Becca there is a ton that you have to offer the world. If you ever feel like your alone your not because it's like the footprints poem...when we feel alone thats when he is caring us . If you ever need help making decisions or anything turn to your scriptures and prayer I would never be the person I am if those were non existant. Wow where did that come from.. Becc I love and respect you so much have fun but most of all when in doubt say a prayer and read you SCIPRTURES. I know with all my heart that it will help shape you to be the person your savior wants you to be.. I love you alot !!
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