Crying...

...I do it a lot. Is that normal? Is crying healthy? I swear I cry more than the average person, and I swear I cry over the dumbest things. I guess it's better to show your emotions on your sleeve then to hold them in. Sometimes I try to hold things in, and I do good for about a week, then I ALWAYS have a break down. It's pathetic really. Oh, and whenever I read Farrah's blog, it makes me cry, it really does tug at my lil heart strings. Even just looking at sweet Lennon's little face gets me so teary eyed, I am right now thinking about it. I honestly can't wait til the day comes when I am getting married in the temple. Because then, I will be able to have kids :) Whenever I hear my sisters talk about how awesome it was to be sealed to your spouse for eternity gets me super excited. Also, it motivates me to be a better person and to continue to be worthy to enter into the temple because that is what my spouse will be looking for in me. A worthy girl.

My sisters always have the best advice, and one night in particular, my sister gave me the best advice anyone could ever get. I am positive it was through the spirit that she was able to tell this to me....I'm not trying to brag, but I think a lot about others. Too much in fact. My life now is stagnent because I think too much about others and I lose myself in it all. I lose my goals in life, I lose motivation to do anything for myself and to be successful. And my sister said that I need to focus more on my own happiness. Be a little more selfish. Go to the temple more, read my scriptures more, write in my journal, hang out and date good people who have the same goals and values in life. Surround yourself with goodness and get my spirit uplifted. Build a stronger testimony of the church, it can always be strengthened.

I ramble so much it's unreal, but I don't have my journal handy so this will have to do. The bottom line is, when we struggle, when we cry about sad things, that is when we need to turn to the Lord the most. I have heard that my whole life, but never really thought it would happen to me until now. Things change, but in the end everything will work out. For now, I am going to continue doing what I'm doing, but put the Lord first in it all. Here I am crying, but whats new?

This is so long, but I wanna thank my family. I know for a fact I would not be where I am if it weren't for them. My mom has been the best through everything, she has been talking to me about it and comforting me about everything and I couldn't be more grateful for that. Just to get a call from someone and talk about nothing makes me feel good. So thanks mom. Thanks to Rachel and Farrah. I can't tell you how many times you have saved me. I love you.
Goodnight.
-borris