I need a change. Or, I need to change. There are things in my life that I get so frustrated about and so mad at myself about and it really does take its toll on me. There are things in my life I need to change and there are some people in my life I need to bring closer, and some I need to push away.
Not too long ago, I was filling out my mission papers. I was so ready and committed to this change in my life and so excited for the new adventures I would have and the interesting people I would get to meet. But, something occurred to me while I was reading my scriptures and praying and going to the temple...I realized that I need to do these things everyday. Preparing for this mission, I think, has actually been preparing me for something else. Whether it be marriage, or going to BYU Hawaii, or I'm not exactly sure what, but I have an overwhelming feeling that that is the Lords plan for me.
So, for now I am trying to change. I am trying to be happy, I am trying to do what is right and in all reality, that is exactly what life is all about. Doing your best. Sometimes I wish I could go back and change things in the past because things now would be so much different, but I can't, and it sucks, but there is nothing I can do about it now besides living in the now. I'm sorry, I'm just rambling and venting, but I need to get this out somehow.
I am excited for change, but at the same time, it isn't easy. Life is hard. But I have so many things I need to be grateful for. Count my blessings. I love you, I love Heavenly Father, and I love life! (sometimes) :) anyway...sorry you had to read this, it's just been driving me nuts.
-Sincerely, borris
1 comment:
Becca, As your mom I think change for you will be good. I think Hawaii will give you new perspective, new friends, new experiences and new knowledge. All good things. It is BYU so the spiritual will be awesome too. Keep your heart open, think of others, be grateful and you can't lose. I love you tons, mom
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